Slowing down, noticing
When pondering my biggest Ah Ha’s in my early experiences of the Wheel the two that really stand out are “Who’s it For?” and that there are “Two ways of Receiving”!! As I write, I can recreate and feel the responses in my body from back then. Waves and tingles all through my body. Just wow!
I left that Like a Pro in early 2018 with so much excitement, new in my bodywork practice, new to the Wheel. All around me I was bursting with: “Who’s that (really) For?” with fresh eyes, activated body and mind. I was tracking myself within and in relation to others, and revisiting all kinds of relationships and events over my life. It changed my lens, how I worked, and changed me.
And the “Two ways of Receiving”? Astounding; I had no prior frame for this, how could I see / feel this with such clarity until I put together the felt experience and the language? My relationship with this will be lifelong. What an opening for me personally, and in my work with others. What a gift in Betty’s work.
There are so many gifts, and some have taken time for me to pause and appreciate, quietly there under the earth of the work, essential, but less prominent to me. As happens in this work, when I slow down, I continue to find new things! Today, I shine a mirror ball on the gift of Noticing.
It took me until the age of 62 to experience an electric toothbrush. I received a voucher after being on a panel and for some reason decided to buy one! I’m a late adopter it’s true, and it then sat in its box for another 3 months until the moment struck. On the morning of New Year’s Day 2025 I flicked the switch and oh wow I was in bliss! The busy buzzing, the specificity on each tooth and the gaps between, the tingling on my gums and vibrations in my mouth, hand and head.
Brushing teeth has traditionally been something I try to do in tandem with something else: load the washing machine, clean the bathroom mirror, send a text. But since the electric toothbrush experience stopped me in my tracks, I now often sit and close my eyes while slowly, methodically moving this magical machine tooth to tooth, mapping my mouth and visualising each landing. I turn inwards to the world of my mouth and I am really in there! I love it!
I have understood, felt and taught about ‘noticing’ and it’s a core part of the Wheel and my sexological bodywork practice, but my relationship with it continues to change. Since finding ADHD fits for me, late in life, I’ve made more peace with my ways, and I am finding what works for me more authentically. To slow down, to pause, to ‘notice’ as a step, not skip over it. I have been noticing but… perhaps quickly and with a goal to get to the next bit.
My noticing skills have deepened. My experience of pleasure and delight has expanded. I am ‘noticing’ with more ease, in unexpected places, in my ways, and this opens up new experiences and possibilities.
The Wheel has a beautiful offering about Notice Trust Value and Communicate. It helps to slow down the process when we are in a dynamic with others, focussing on stepping through agreement making. So that we don’t rush to the ‘doing’ and take time, and feel for, what we want, or what we are willing for. We Notice Trust Value in ourselves, and communicate if we are agreement make with another.
So – I am slowing down right here, at step one: Noticing. And in this experience, through noticing that I loved something unexpected, and that it was drawing all my attention, I came to celebrate the gift and skill of noticing, the practice of noticing, and I thank the Wheel for continuous gifts!
